How-to Never Get Friend-Zoned For The Rest of Your Life

by Martin

“I hope to become good friends with that cutie.” — said no guy EVER!

Being in the friend zone sucks. There are zero benefits to it. This same logic applies to freelancing and getting paid. Nobody wants to work for free forever.

“The lesson is simple – boring always leads to failure. Boring is always the most risky strategy. Smart businesspeople realize this, and they work to minimize (but not eliminate) the risk from the process. They know that sometimes it’s not going to work.” — Purple Cow

Life in the friend zone sucks.

How do you ensure that you never get friend-zoned and get the most out of life?

This is where you have to destroy all previous views.

There’s so much trouble to be caused out there. It’s not worth wasting even a minute of time by sitting around and waiting for your turn. Your turn will never come if you wait politely. You have to go after it!

How do you get out of the friend zone and make money as a freelancer?

Always Be Closing. ABC baby!

You know that massive promo that was cut in Glengarry Glen Ross? It’s fairly accurate. You shouldn’t be a jerk or a shady person. You do need to always be closing. You got into freelancing to help people and to get paid for it. I know that it’s nice to be a good person, but sometimes you have to just close and get paid! You have to make money.

Always be helpful.

Do everything possible to be there for your clients and potential clients. Be as helpful as possible. Solve their problems. Make it all about them. Let them know that you’re the best person for the job before you even get it.

Keep on being helpful and good things will happen.

Make your goals clear.

You have to understand this. So wait one second before you read the next line.

FREE IS NOT A BUSINESS MODEL!

You have to get paid.

I’m not into shady marketing or conning people. I actually hate that kind of stuff with a passion. I believe in giving my best material away for free. I believe in giving away 99% for free and charging for 1%.

But — you have to make it clear what your goals are. I need to make money. You need to make money.

With that being said, sometimes you have to be in the friend zone or work for free to get your foot in the door.

Make it clear when you do work for free.

It’s okay to visit the friend zone, just don’t stick around for so long that you have to pay rent. Get out of the friend zone.

If you accept free work, you have to make it clear why you’re doing this.

How do you do it? Tell them that you’re looking to either build your portfolio or to show your worth.

When building your portfolio, it’s important to have them agree to be a referral and to consider paying you for more work. You’re just building on your current freelancing skills. You’re not going to stick around for free forever.

You’re not going to be free forever. You’re valuable and you know your worth. You deserve better my friend.

Make sure that the person is interested!

The reason some of us will never get paid work or get laid is because the other person just isn’t interested!

There’s nothing else to it. They either don’t want or feel that they need our services. The best thing for you to do as a freelancer is to understand this and accept it. You can’t convince someone that they need you or have a problem. Your goal should be to move on and find clients that are actually interested in what you have to offer.

Don’t get stuck in the friend zone as a freelancer. Go all the way and get paid. Free doesn’t pay the bills.

Don't be shy...
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Justin @ RootofGood December 7, 2013 at 9:14 pm

Good advice to convert “providing services” into “getting paid”. It’s all about the conversion, right?!

I remember in law school this interesting advice from a professor. It’s okay to do some free legal work for someone, but go ahead and send them an invoice with $0 due. That way they can see how you charge, what your rates are, and what the value of your services are. Just tell the client (ie your friend) that you went ahead and set them up in your accounting system and had your accounting system zero out the bill before it was sent.

Clever little way to show your services are worth something, give away a little teaser, and yet show that some element of your relationship is commercial.

Reply

Martin December 9, 2013 at 8:10 am

This is a great comment. I’m going to include it in an upcoming article. Thanks!

Reply

Justin @ RootofGood December 9, 2013 at 2:58 pm

No problem, Martin. I’m going to send you an invoice for my advice, but I’ll zero out any balances owed. You know, it’s not that I wanted to bill you, but my accounting system has to invoice you since I went ahead and set you up in my contacts system.
;)

Reply

Martin December 9, 2013 at 4:21 pm

Hahah too funny!

Reply

Justin @ RootofGood December 9, 2013 at 4:25 pm

Ok, I’m going to have to invoice you for my second comment.

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